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W. Michael Johnson's avatar

So many thoughts. First of all I'd like to lead the crowd in a big, heartfelt "Fuck You" to Kristy Noem, the Puppy Slayer, who is singlehandedly keeping all the low-class, drug-crazed third-world people away from the NFL's big day.

Favorite NFL player ever: Jerry Rice, who is not only smarter and funnier than Noem, but excelled at a position that required him to be hit by the equivalent of a Volkswagen several times in the course of an afternoon.

Favorite halftime show ever: Prince, dressed to kill and wailing away in a steady rain. No love for Rap in general. It might as well ALL be in Spanish.

Feelings about the NFL in general: I am reminded of a comment by my father. About a year before he died. I asked him, basically, "How 'bout those Rams?" And he said, "Oh, I'm about footballed out." I am now a few years older than he was then, and I too am bored with it—the hoorah and the electronics—although I still hope the Niners can teach those other guys some respect.

And again, "Fuck you, Kristy. You have no class at all."

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